Friday, November 13, 2009

Miner's Hierarchy of Greed (Halloween Style)


1) Almond Joy, Mounds and Twix
2) Anything scarce that features chocolate (this year we had only one Take 5, and one Watchamacalit, which both disappeared before we rang in November)
3) Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, along with any of the many derivations of the pb cup (Fast Break, Nutrageous, Whipps, Sticks. Reese's Pieces do not qualify as they have no chocolate).
4) The triplets: Snickers (the beauty queen), Milky Way (the girl-next-door), and Three Musketeers (the plain one)
5) My godmother's white chocolate lollipops (perfect in concert with a Milky Way and a Butterfinger)
6) Butterfinger and Kit-Kat
7) M&Ms: peanut first, then plain, then mini
8) Any of the above in the smaller bite-size format, which is less satisfying by a number of degrees. Full-size candy bars take a spot near the top.
9) Candy that pretends to be chocolate, but doesn't contain enough chocolate to qualify: Peppermint Patties, Tootsie Pops, Sugar Babies, Whoppers (incidentally, why are Whoppers so inferior to Malteasers?)
10) Baby Ruth and Crunch Bars
11) Tootsie Rolls (but only under duress)

The rest, lacking chocolate, is fit only for my children, my husband (despite being in his mid-30s, he still has a serious thing for Skittles), and the garbage can.

We're down to M&Ms, some mini sized peanut butter cups, and a whole lot of crap that doesn't even pretend to have any chocolate in it.

What's your hierarchy?

7 comments:

Unknown said...

I'm honored to make the list -- especially among chocolate gourmets like you guys!

Blue said...

Using the #s on your list, my priorities are:

#3
#1
#7, but only the peanut, almond, or peanut butter. Plain=meh.
#6
#7
#8
And I actually like Junior Mints, Andes Mints, Peppermint Patties etc, a lot. They supersede tooties anyday.

I like chocolate covered raisins and nuts. I used to love the triplets, but am so kind of over them now.

My favorite candybar is the fun-sized Fastbreak...and of course we didn't get ANY this year. sigh.

Blue said...

(did you note my clever use of the word "we" back there?)

Shelah said...

All candy is communal at my house. The kids have forgotten it exists. More for me.

Shelly said...

#1 - 3 Musketeers...Any size I can get
#2 - M&M's == plain only
#3 -- the other junk----

Emlouisa said...

We are such twinners, Shelah. I was saddened when my kids returned home with only ONE Almond Joy and even more sad that I didn't buy any to give out so I could hoard them.

We pretty much have the same hierarchy. We're cool like that.

TJ said...

there is a HUGE difference between whoppers and malteasers. there is real chocolate on malteasers, whereas there is nothing but stuff that pretends it is chocolate on whoppers. malteasers have honeycomb inside them, and whoppers are some disgusting thing called a malt ball. barf. anyway, do a side by side comparison, you'll see my point.:)

shockingly, i've barely touched my kids candy. and they've barely touched it too.